i'm just... finding myself ;

Jung Tests

2006-11-02T22:58:00.000-08:00

ESFJ - "Seller". Most sociable of all types. Nurturer of harmony. Outstanding host or hostesses. 12.3% of total population.

Free Jung Word Choice Test (similar to MBTI)
personality tests by similarminds.com

ESFP - "Entertainer". Radiates attractive warmth and optimism. Smooth, witty, charming, clever. Fun to be with. Very generous. 8.5% of the total population.

Free Jung Word Choice Test (similar to MBTI)
personality tests by similarminds.com

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Hedonism	\|\|	10%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|	17%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

2006-11-02T22:05:00.000-08:00

my last entry was on Thursday, 13th July 2006. much has changed since then, but wells.. some things are still the same.

like how i'm still searching for my identity as a person.

like how i'm still obsessed over books.

like how i'm still an escapist.

like how i'm still lonely. or perhaps, even lonelier than before.

ahhhhhhhhhhh.

on a happier note, i passed my promos! according to my CT, i should be promoted and not advanced, as written on the results slip.. oh well.

at least i've not been retained, ehhs?

but somehow, i still feel that i'm undeserving of this promotion.

let's face it, i didn't put in alot of effort, okays? well, i did study, but i barely skimmed through the notes and didn't do much practice.

i didn't even touch PHYSICS. i didn't finish MATHS, totally gave up on vectors and allowed the 20marks to fly away. i forgot all the stuffs i studied for ECONS.

seriously, this is like, the first time i've been LUCKY in an exam. usually it's always the "i-studied-like-shit-but-didn't-do-well" scenario.

hopefully, i won't die next year, when it comes down to the dreaded A Levels.

2006-07-13T02:42:00.000-07:00

got back my results, feel kinda NUMBED. cause i expected to fail everything lahh, to be honest.

BUT!

i was wrong.

i passed my GP and Econs!

WAHLAO. totally expected to ace my paper1 and FAIL my paper2 like shit, but in the end, it was THE OTHER WAY ROUND.

the irony of it.

well, i got 22/50 for essay, 34/50 for compre.. my compre highest in class wooh! HAHAHA. so unbelieveable. (-_______-)

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?!

FIRST TIME I SECOND IN CLASS FOR ECONS. SUB PASS. FIRST TIME FIRST TIME FIRST TIME!

i'm just oh-so-touched! ((:

i WANNA be a MUGGER.

2006-07-08T06:54:00.000-07:00

almost confirmed that i've got 4Fs for mid years.

everyone keeps telling me to work harder, to press on, to not regard these 4Fs as a stumbling block, rather, a stepping stone to success in A Levels.

but i just feel all that kind advice dispensed by my good friends.. bouncing off my ears.

i feel quite helpless.

i don't know what i'm supposed to do to get better grades. i did my tutorials religiously, read through my notes, highlighted important items, paid attention during lectures and tutorials, and took down many important notes...

but it seems as if, all i've done is redundant.

how am i supposed to study smart when i don't even have the formula for doing so?

i need someone to talk to me, to let me vent my frustuations, to comfort me...

i think, i need to get all this out of my system before i'm ready to carry on..

i won't give up. I WON'T.

there's just no ground to give, no choice of giving up.

i chose this road, and i can't do anything except travel it.

and i know that no matter how bruised or hurt i get while travelling it... there'll still be my friends to coo over my wounds and soothe them with kind words and hugs.

and for you, for myself, i'll go on.

I SIMPLY HAVE TO.

UNIVERSITY! NUS! NTU! SMU! HARVARD!

THERE'S NO QUESTION OF WHETHER I WILL FIGHT. I WILL FIGHT ALL THE WAY, EVEN AS I TAKE MY LAST BREATH.

yeah, i failed during PSLE, Sec2 Streaming, O Levels....... BUT, i will still struggle for A Levels.

I AM STRONG.

i'mstrongi'mstrongi'mstrong.

2006-07-06T00:17:00.000-07:00

i'm down with the bloody flu bug. runny nose, swollen throat, cough, phlegm, headaches... you name it, i've got it.

suffering like don't-know-what.. i've never been so terribly sick before! )):

hope i recover soon!

2006-06-29T21:25:00.000-07:00

You Are 52% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.
Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.
But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.
You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

How You Life Your Life

You tend to deprive yourself of things you crave, for your own good.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
Your friends tend to be a as quirky as you are - which is saying a lot!
You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

You Are 20% Cynical

Cynical? Not even close! If anything, you're a bit naive.
Overall, you enjoy life and try not to be paranoid. Even if you've been burned before.

How Cynical Are You?

You are 67% Pisces

How Pisces Are You?

Your Quirk Factor: 58%

You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it.
Congratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them!

How Quirky Are You?

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause.
You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them.

Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

2006-06-29T21:17:00.000-07:00

You Should Be A Virgo

What's good about you: you have a quiet determination and aren't swayed by emotions

What's bad about you: you are an insane perfectionist and easily find faults in others

In love: you are obsessed with making your partner happy

In friendship, you're: helpful and giving - eager to be a true friend

Your ideal job: poet, flight attendant, or natural healer

Your sense of fashion: casual, upscale, revealing, conservative - you look good in all of it

You like to pig out on: a well prepared five course meal

What Sign Should You Be?

a day out

2006-06-29T20:18:00.000-07:00

exams are finally over! and we'd to go back for chem makeup lecture yesterday, which we used to go through chem mid-year paper section B. anyways, it was horrible lahh. i only had like, one question correct.. hais. WHATEVER! it's already over and it's time to move on.

no more crying, no more screaming and sighing.

GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER AND DO YOUR TUTORIALS! STUDY YOUR LECTURE NOTES LIKE IT'S THE HOLY BIBLE! GANBATE!

anyway, we went out to slack after chem lect. HAHAHA! finally decided to go bugis, and ate long john, talked and talked and talked. and of course, laughed like hyenas. i think the customers were scared away by us.. cause our area was EMPTY. hahaha!

anyway, had a great time talking, laughing, eating.. and watching xuan and ernie fight over the custody rights of a PLASTIC KNIFE! they were so super childish, grabbing each other's drinks, food, blah blah, just to force the other party to relinquish the rights to the TREASURED KNIFE.

of course, ernie won. like, obviously lahh. me and her are well-versed in the Sun's Art Of War. HAHAHA!

anyways, we then headed off to arab street, cause i wanted to source for materials.. i'm obsessed lahh! BUT I WILL NOT GIVE UP. I REFUSE TO!!

we walked loads and we went into this old shop selling vintage stuffsss, SUPER COOL! we went bonkers and took loads of pics!

we finally left cause yennie wanted to meet us at bugis. went there to meet him and tubao and off we were to Little India!

mmmm. nothing much there, except that we walked alot to get to mustafa, then super tired.. i only bought 2 rolls of bubble wrap. (-_________-)

but we'd superb fun with the freaky hats and sunglasses they had at mustafa!

yeah, it was super spastic, but obviously, FUN LIKE DON'T-KNOW-WHAT. we rock! ((:

2006-06-28T08:40:00.000-07:00

sometimes i really don't know what you're thinking. it's like, you care for me so much at times, but at others.. the things you say just make me feel so IRKED at you. i just feel like deleting your msg and slamming my phone onto the table.

why must i always be the one to initiate a date? why is it you always are busy, with your classmates, your friends, your family. i wonder if i'm important to you.

sometimes i just wish you'd stop acting like you're so concerned and so willing to help me.. it makes me feel like you're lying to me. you're acting just so i won't be angry.

if you can't make it, just SAY IT. i can't jolly well take a knife and cut you up into little cubes, can i? besides, i've said a million, trillion, gazillion times, i get angry easily, but i also calm down easily.

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE YOU?!

on a happier note, the bloody mid years are over, and i'm on holiday till next tuesday. finally can get some good sleep, surfing the net, AND read some steamy romances! life is so miserable without all these little pleasures..

anyways, anyone wants to go out? msg me! [ i doubt anyone will want... )): ]

2006-06-23T02:49:00.000-07:00

"Rules of the game: post 10 weird and random facts about yourself, then at the end list 5 people who are next in line to do this. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their blog and tell them to read yours."

1. I love lotions of all sorts, especially the strawberry and grape flavoured ones from Body Shop. always have this compelling urge to eat the lotion up when i smell it.

2. i've got a weak bladder, and can't drink before i sleep, or i'll have to wake up during the wee hours of the night just to go to the toilet. and i can finish my business in the toilet without even turning on a light.

3. When i sleep, there's a format as to how my pillows and bolsters are laid. my head's cushioned by 2 pillows (less lumpy one on top), 2 medium sized bolsters on my right, another long bolster on my left. a soft pillow for me to hug, and a bolster for my legs to KIAP. oh yeah, the hippo yennie gave for my b'day, it's put to the right side of my face.

4. Whenever i suffer from insomnia, it's usually cause i'm troubled. maybe cause i've not completed my tutorials/assignments, worrying bout my finances, or bout my jewelry business. i try to make myself fall asleep by listening to music, compiling to-do lists (HAHA! yesyes, i do that.) or fantasizing bout a date with __________. (fill in blank with desired guy's name(s))

5. I HATE FISH, can't stand the sight of them. if my food's been spiked with the disgusting creatures, i'd know it IMMEDIATELY, cause i'd feel like PUKING MY GUTS OUT.. but i do love pork and chicken so! and baby octopus! yumyums. :))

6. i can't listen to music without wanting to SING. that's why i usually listen to music with only the left earpiece in my ear. I'M AFRAID I'LL GO OUT OF TUNE! HAHAHA!

7. i love reading books, and can't live without them! my friends literally have to DRAG ME out of the library, cause i'm obsessed with the books. i've to like, borrow 12books each time i'm there, or i'll leave the place feeling GRUMPY and DISSATISFIED.

8. i've this weird habit of using pencil to take down stuffs during lectures, then recopying the lecture notes in PEN when i reach home. yeah, i'm a neat freak, i know.

9. i love it when someone says sincerely that i'm cute or praises me, but even then, i don't ever believe that what they say is real. i'm kinda cynical, and have low self esteem. =x

10. i love shopping, but i rarely spend money on myself. before i buy anything, i've to think like, a thousand times and walk back and forth between 4 different stores just to make up my mind on what i like. fickle-minded, calculative, woman who knows a good bargain, THAT'S ME. :D

The 5 people:
1) Chuilaam
2) Xuejun
3) Ernie
4) Darren
5) Samantha

2006-06-23T02:11:00.000-07:00

alamak. i was tagged by two *^@&*^$#^%#$, namely, TEOTUBAO and MICHIEHO to do some GOONDU surveys.. here goes!

Name twenty people you can think of right now. Don't read the question(s) until you've named the 20 people. At the end of this, choose five people to do this.

1) chuilaam
2) xuejun
3) samantha
4) jesslyn
5) yongda
6) tubao
7) desmond
8) siokling
9) linlin
10) ernie
11) gordie
12) michie
13) calcy
14) anastasia
15) xueli
16) darren
17) shimin
18) julie
19) yennie
20) chuilaam's mum

How did you meet #14 (anastasia)?
bloody anna is chuilaam's sister! ((: long before i met her, i already knew many of her dirty secrets. HAHAHA!

What would you do if you didn't meet #1 (chuilaam)?
i'll DIE! laamlaam's my SUPER BESTIE. ((: also, i wouldn't know the true meaning of friendship, or that I AM LOVED.

What if #9 (linlin) and #20 (chuilaam's mum) dated?
errs.. i don't think we wanna know the answer to this question! but i surmise gordon would be angry?? HAHAHA!

Would #6 (tubao) and #17 (shimin) make a good couple?
like, NOOOO!! one's a rabbit, the other is a cow..... besides, the cow's married to me. :D

Describe #3 (samantha).
baichi, spastic, lame, crappy, act cute, some bloody mutant, non-homosapien. you get the idea!

Is #8 (siokling) attractive?
hmmm. that is, if you like HUGE-I'M-DYING-TO-GET-OUT-OF-THESE-SOCKETS eyes. oh yeah, and MO XIAO LING. you definitely gotta worship MO XIAO LING.

Describe #7 (desmond).
baichi, big bully(testimonials written by JULIET, CALCY, XIAOXUAN), my-mum-says-he's-a-sunshine-boy, forever sleepy, fellow sister. :D

Do you know any of #12 (michie) family members?
hmmm. her mum? cause i've taken her car before... HAHAHA.

What would you do if #18 (julie) confess to you that she likes you?
tell her i understand that i'm cute and she can't help getting enamoured with me, but she's not my type. i don't date maids! HAHAHA!

What language does #15 (xueli) speak?
chinese, english.. that's bout all? hmmm. not everyone's as talented as me, and speaks english, chinese, teochew, malay, japanese, AFGHANISTAN. HAHAHA!

Who is #9 (linlin) going out with?
please refer to question #3 above.

How old is #16 (darren)?
gonna be 19 soon. yes, yes, we all know it seems quite unbelieveable..

When is the last time you spoke to #13 (calcy)?
last week! :D she's still as baichi, don't worry.

Who is #2's (xuejun) favourite band/singer?
hmmm. she only listens to CHICKEN DANCE lehh....

Would you ever date #4 (jesslyn)?
like, NO?! it's such an insult to ME. we all know that! (:

Would you ever date #1 (chuilaam)?
yeapyeaps, we're LOVERS.

Is #15 (xueli) single?
i think so.. not so BA GUA lahh.

What's #10's (ernie) last name?
mmmm. CHEN? or is it FROG? or HORNY? i also can't remember...

Would you ever be in a relationship with #11 (gordie)?
no, that'd be lesbianism!!! we're such good sisters. :)

School of #3 (samantha)?
CHEC.

Where does #6 (tubao) live?
some ULU flat in boon keng.

What's your fave thing about #5 (yongda)?
he's always an sms/call away. super good friend who's always there to comfort me!

Have you seen #1 (chuilaam) naked before?
don't think so.. half-naked, yes. we used to just change without entering the toilet cubicles, in the NP days. PSST. but i've seen #2 and #3 naked before! tag on the tagboard if you want more details! HAHAHA! :D

5 lucky people to do this :
xuejun
chuilaam
xueli
ernie
samantha

I FINALLY FOUND YOU!

2006-06-16T06:13:00.000-07:00

thank god i FINALLY managed to find you guys, BABIESSSS!

aaawww. i'm so bloody touched man!

still on the search for more shops though..

HAHAHA.

i'm one happy girl! :D

2006-06-14T04:44:00.000-07:00

urrrrggghhhhhssss. so pissed cause i just don't know where to go to get jewelry supplies besides chinatown and arab street..

i need to go somewhere else to get more supplies!

heard that robinsons area got.. anyone willing to accompany me?

MESSAGE ME!

oh yeahs, do help ask around where to get jewelry supplies, like gold chain, gold charms (handbag/shoe/heart/locket/birds) and plastic baubles (fake stones)..

THANKS! ((:

2006-06-14T04:02:00.000-07:00

woke early today, around 9plus, and took breakfast (bread AGAIN. seems as if it's the only thing i ever eat these days..), and READ A BOOK! ((:

love reading. hahaha!

anyways, met xuejun after that at Changi Airport Mac and we studied maths.

hmmm. I was quite productive, managed to go through Summation And Method Of Difference, and Recurrence Relation. erms. yeah, they're the only 2 topics i've studied this whole holiday.

anyways, there were 4 TPJC girls sitting beside us, and they were like, DAMN QUIET can?! (please tell me you do sense the sarcasm behind this statement!)

they kept laughing and giggling and TALKING. if you can call it talking... their voices could be heard like, ten thousand miles away..

FREAKS.

in the end, we really couldn't stand it and moved to another table.

like, of course we can't expect fastfood restaurants to be completely noise free, cause ppl are there to EAT and CONVERSE, it's not a study area.

however, they should maintain a modicum of sense and consideration for others right? you don't have to like, NOT TALK AT ALL, but just keep your volume down?

goodness me. i also mistook Mac for a fish market!

2006-06-08T05:59:00.000-07:00

hmmm. last time i never update, then a whole truckload of homosapiens COERCE me to update. now that i DO update, no one visits! ahhhhhhhhh!

:((

anyways, haven't started studying yet, so i think... i'll be repeating JC1 next year. like, yeah, HAPPY NEW YEAR to myself.

made quite abit of jewelry in the past few days, all uploaded already, but no one's buying! aaaahhhhhhhh!

i LOVE making stuffs, but my brain juice is like.. running low. i need inspiration. i need ideas. i need money to get new materials. i need.. i need.. CUSTOMERS!!!!!!!

BOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO.

are my things really THAT UGLY?!

so super depressed. :(

2006-06-06T19:41:00.000-07:00

This is a Tickle Test i took 10 thousand years ago.. HAHAHA.

Sheauwei, your true color is Yellow!

You're yellow, the color of joy and energy — two things you definitely bring to everyone around you. It's hard for anyone to be sad or lonely in your presence; your sunny disposition and cheery outlook just won't allow it. The warmth of your personality shines through in the kindness you show friends and family (and strangers, too). Always ready with a lighthearted joke or heartfelt compliment, you know how to make people feel good about themselves, so they can't get enough of you. Yellow is a warm and inviting color for a warm and inviting person — you!

hmmm. doesn't seem very accurate lehh.....

photos galore!

2006-06-04T19:40:00.000-07:00

just feel like posting up some pics of me and my friends.. ENJOY!

me and tubao! someone said that we've the same eyes.. anyone seconds that opinion?!

HAHAHAHA! it's US again! :D

Bunch of MJ muggers doing CIP!

me and my lover. :))

QIANHUI aka ADRENA-LIN and SHEAUX aka KOH STORAGE!

me and tubao AGAIN! :D alamak. i realised that we take loads of pics together ehhs..

2006-06-03T21:42:00.000-07:00

have been busy the past week with school and finding inspiration for jewelry making! found a few really creative sellers, and i went on a jaunt to arab street and chinatown to get my materials. spent a bomb!

but i'm a happy, contented girl. :))

i just LOVE making jewelry! i feel so at peace and calm and conscientious and so.. just so DRIVEN TO SURPRISE AND AWE MY CUSTOMERS!

will update soon, busy doing some stuffs now!

love you guys loads and loads, especially xuejun, chuilaam, sixuan, siokling, ernie, shimin etc etc etc.

support www.integrity03.blogspot.com!

2006-05-29T07:23:00.000-07:00

thanks for always being an sms away, from don't-know-when till now.

thanks for always listening patiently when i whine and complain.

thanks for always understanding and not judging.

thanks for cheering me up, for sending smses just to make me feel better.

thanks for always being my friend, despite the fact that i'm volatile and emotional and crazy and hysterical and suspicious and irritating.

thanks for always always always always always remaining by my side, even when the going gets tough.

thanks for holding on, even when i was ready to give up on our friendship.

I LOVE YOU, POK SIOK LING!, my neoprints mate, my roxy comrade, my kayaking partner-in-crime, my cycling khaki, my NP squadmate, my fellow NPCC Day Parade GOH-er, my uber lameshit boog.

every girl needs a confidante like you.

2006-05-29T07:04:00.000-07:00

it's ENJIAO the HORNY FROGGIE's 18th birthday today! ((:

happy birthday! and stay bananas forever. :D as in, banana and... bananas. HAHAHA! i love you loads and loads and loads, and you still owe me that one SHORTMARYGOLD date!

Anyways, took my GP exam today, and it was.... CRAP.

i scanned through the questions, and all were alien to me except for question 8 - Mothers will always be more loved than fathers. Do you agree?

i took like, 5 mins to scribble down all the essential stuffs to include in intro, SV, conclusion, and also to write down keypoints of the essay and my random thoughts.

then, i STONED, literally STONED for like, 15mins? i didn't know where to start! just hate getting brain block during exams.

in the end i just anyhow scribble down some rubbish and proceeded with my essay..

spent EONS on the OV, rewrote it like, 3 times?! oh mannnnnnnnn. after doing the rebuttal, only'd 25 mins for SV1, SV2, SV3 and conclusion!

eeeuuuurrrgggghhhhssss.

completed the SVs and conlusion, but they were like SHIT. (-______-) happy new year to myself.

the worst thing is my comprehension lahh. i didn't do 3 questions and copied the summary wholesale! ALAMAK. god bless me.

well, after that i'd learning journey, went to the Asian Civilisation Museum. WAHLAO! i wanted A-N-C-I-E-N-T Civilisation Museum, so that i can see all the Egyptian, Grecian artefacts, but they gave us A-S-I-A-N Civilisation Museum.......

..... quite enjoyed myself at the start, until Mr Audi told us to gather for PW meeting. the girls in my class were all taking pics and having fun and i guess i just felt.. LEFT OUT.

maybe it's my own fault? cause i'm not the type to like, cut into people's groups or conversations.. I JUST CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO DO SO?

perhaps.. it's time i learnt to be even more independent that i already am. perhaps it's time i learnt to isolate myself more...

hate feeling so alone and segregated and outcasted and boycotted.

2006-05-24T02:59:00.000-07:00

flashed my doctor's MC at Mr Tan today, and he insisted that i take the day off and go home and rest.

so... i didn't have squash today.

HAHAHA!

anyways, been slacking since i came back. and my physics SPA is on friday.

LIFE IS EVER SO WONDERFUL!

btw, our soccer boys will be playing against VJC soccer team tmr, at Jalan Besar Stadium. the whole school will be going down to support them! :))

even though i don't really think our soccer boys will win, but i'm sure they'll put up a spectacular fight. our soccer boys rock like don't-know-what.

MJ boleh! :D

i love integrity.

2006-05-23T06:05:00.000-07:00

i'm crying like mad now.

i'm not just angry over what happened, i'm damn hurt, okays.

your actions make me feel so insignificant, like i'm NOBODY to you, absolutely NOBODY.

i signed up for the flag day cause you were going, and i think you knew that, and yet..

this is all my fault, alright?! i shouldn't have tried to act as if we're such close friends. i shouldn't have assumed that you would've taken care of my stuffs for me, cause i wasn't around. i shouldn't have trusted you to THINK OF MY WELFARE.

i should've known that no one will ever be nice to me, no one even CARES, no one even gives a F***ing damn.

from now on, i shall just keep my silence.

from now on, i shall be antisocial.

I DON'T EVER WANT TO FEEL USED AGAIN, FEEL UNWANTED AGAIN, FEEL UNWORTHY AGAIN.

thanks for hurting me. gee, THANKS.

why won't the tears stop pouring.

2006-05-17T03:53:00.000-07:00

had the blasted Chemistry A level SPA assessment for Skill B and C today, and guess what?

I MADE STUPID MISTAKES. AGAIN.

ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHSSSSS.

why does my hard work always end up going down the drain?!

felt like bashing my head against the wall after i finished the exam.

since nothing good can come out of it, let's cease prattling on about it.

anyways, i suaned Mr Audi in class today, and he came back with a rather weak retort, if you ask me..

HAHAHA.

he kinda reminds me of Chan Choo ehhs. but Miss Chan was a REALLY REALLY nice teacher who took quite good care of me lahh, suaning me on a regular basis..

but i still can't forget the remarks she wrote in my report book for prelim results.. something like, even though i got a B3 for prelims english, she has faith that i'll score a distinction in the O levels.

oh man.

that was the one time when i really knew my self worth as a student..

HOW OFTEN DOES A TEACHER PRAISE A STUDENT MAN! I'M LUCKY! AND HONOURED!

HAHAHA.

talking about teachers, it makes me really miss the good ol' chungcheng days.. then, we know that the teachers are really sincere and wanna help us as much as their abilities allow them to.

CHUNG CHENG TEACHERS ALL DESERVE TO GET CARING TEACHERS' AWARD LAHH!

2006-05-15T04:19:00.000-07:00

entry dedicated to TUBAO aka YIYING. :))

hey girl. i know it's damn difficult to open up if you've shut yourself up for too long. i wasn't used to opening up too, until secondary school, cause i got to know magnificent friends like the IT peeps, and chuilaam and xuejun.

but whatever it is, just want you to know that, no matter what, we'll always be here.

we can't solve your problems for you, but we can share your burden. maybe you don't need a listening ear, you just need someone to BE THERE, someone to accompany you, to crap with you, send us a msg.

i can't GUARANTEE that we'll 100% reply, but all of us will definitely try our DARNEDEST to.

cause you've been our friend, my friend, for FOUR YEARS, and we, i LOVE YOU.

anyways, i'm not that happy in MJC either.. that's why i haven't been blogging. the only thing worthy of highlight in my life is like, my novels and outings or lunches with you guys?!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i really hate JC life. i just wanna get out of the system. FAST.

in the meantime, we'll just have to FORGE AHEAD with a hard head and a strong will.

HOPEFULLY, 2 years will pass quickly and we'll see each other in NUS!!!!!!

can't wait to see you at the next IT outing! IT will not be complete without your lameness, your intellectual jokes and your CAMERA.

WE MISS YOU!!!!

MTV ROCKS. :))

2006-05-15T03:47:00.000-07:00

went back to CCHMS to get my graduation cert last friday, and i took tons of pictures with my beloved madcap friends!

the keyword here is MADCAP. hahahaha!

WARNING : DO NOT SCROLL DOWN IF YOU DON'T POSSESS ENOUGH GUTS.

PRESENTING THE FREAKY AND THE FREAKIEST!

we're all fighting for the limelight! let me assure you, this is NATURAL. :D

everyone looks nice and normal (for once) EXCEPT for ERNIE the HORNY FROGGIE!

we all look quite happy in this pic. :)) GORDON and SIOKLING?! what's with the sad face?!

such an excited picture with loads of green green FROGGIES in front!

what can i say? I LOVE MY FRIENDSSSSSSSS!

we just rock and stone like don't-know-what lahh!

WE LOVE CHUNG CHENG. totally miss those crazy days when we would just walk out of school together in a damn huge group and scream and sing and laugh and shout and jump and skip and do drills and all sorts of CRAP.

those were the days.

2006-05-15T03:27:00.000-07:00

mr audi FINALLY returned our 2nd GP Essay today, after like, a million years?!

he's damn slow when it comes to marking... (-___________-)

anyways, surprisingly, i got 30/50!!!

like... !!!

how can it be?!?!

i didn't have time to do the essay, cause i was busy doing maths that labour day, so i hurriedly typed all the points into my handphone while on the bus to school. (i had TAF club.)

and then i did the essay during recess time, in the canteen.

i took around 50 mins to finish the whole essay... and i didn't know what i was writing lahh. seriously.

and so i just any ol' how handed it in.......

BUT I GOT 30/50!

WHAT A GREAT ACHIEVEMENT SINCE I'VE NEVER EVER WRITTEN ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS BEFORE.

ehhs, i'm more of a narrative sort of person lahh... cause i can crap real well.

HAHAHA!

but, seriously lahh, my classmates are damn clever too.. Cheryl got 34/50!

anyways, how i wish i did so well during exams..

it seems as though i just ALWAYS bungle up my exams.

praying really really really really hard that i can be promoted to JC2 next year.

amitabha. god bless me. allah save me.

2006-05-13T08:19:00.000-07:00

after reading what chuilaam wrote in MSN, i started to cry.

how can i continue to despair when you say it like that?

when i know that you and xuejun will always be there for me?

when i know you will always be beside me,

ENCOURAGING me when the going gets tough?

SCOLDING me when i do something stupid?

HELPING me FOCUS when i lose sight of the goal ahead?

SLOWING DOWN to wait for me when i lag behind?

HUGGING me and WIPING AWAY my tears when i get down and out?

WORRYING for me whenever i msg you or when i don't msg you?

i swear, you guys are the best friends a girl could ever have.

i just wanna say.. THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU.

how can i despair of hope when you guys are there to support me, to assure me that i've got your love and affection?

i just can't.

i'm gonna pick myself up, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how miserable i am while doing it.

it's all gonna be worthwhile, when we end up in university together.

我真的没资格拥有像你们那么好的朋友.

2006-05-13T05:25:00.000-07:00

nothing can describe my feelings right now more than these 2 songs posted below. read through it and download it if it suits you to do so. ehhhs.. when you're feeling down, maybe you, too, can listen to it and get a lil down and depressed.

Michelle Branch - Leap Of Faith

One less call to answer
Feeling full of despair
Don't think I can get through it
Just one last prayer
And it's a leap of faith
When you believe
There's someone out there
It's a leap of faith
When you believe that
Someone cares, oh
And when I call out to you
Will you be right there
Right there

Searching for the answer
Nobody seems to care
Oh how I wish that
You were here
Beside me
To wipe away my tears

And it's a leap of faith
When you believe
There's someone out there
It's a leap of faith
When you believe
That someone cares, oh
And when I call out to you
Will you be right there
Right there

Waiting for the answer
Remembering times
We would share
Somehow I feel
You here beside me
Even though you're not there

And it's a leap of faith
When you believe there's
Someone out there
It's a leap of faith
When you believe that
Someone cares, oh
And when I call out to you
Will you be right there

Right there
And I'll be waiting
By the window for
Your smile to come through
And I'll be waiting
In the darkness when
I call out to you
And I'll remember
When you told me
I could trust in you

And it's a leap of faith
When you believe
There's someone out there
It's a leap of faith
When you believe
That someone cares, oh
And when I call out to you
Will you be right there
It's a leap of faith
And I believe that
You are out there
It's a leap of faith and
I believe you truly care, oh
And when I call out to you
I know you'll be right there
Right there
And it's a leap of faith

Ashlee Simpson - Catch Me When I Fall

Is anybody out there
Does anybody see
That when the lights are off something's killing me

I know it seems like people care
Cause they're always around me
But when the day is done and everybody runs

Who will be the one to save me from myself
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Who's gonna catch me when I fall

When the show is over
And it's empty everywhere
It's hard to face going back alone
So I walk around the city
Anything, anything to clear my head
I've got nowhere to go nowhere but home

Who will be the one to save me from myself
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Who's gonna catch me when I fall

It may seem I have everything
But everything means nothing
When the ride that you been on
That you're coming off
Leaves you feeling lost

Is anybody out there
Does anyobdy see
That sometimes loneliness is a part of me

2006-05-12T06:55:00.000-07:00

the only thing that made me happy this whole week, was that i did reasonably well in my chemistry theory test.

other than that... i've been damn sian the whole week.

i'm sad over many many things, but there's no one there to listen to me. everyone's busy with their schoolwork, their own friends.. it's as if i don't even exist anymore.

sometimes i wish i could care less.

i can't seem to get any respite from this onslaught of feelings.. i've been too sad for too long, yet i just can't get myself out of this.

i hate staring at my phone, waiting for someone, ANYONE to give me a ring, or to sms me.

i hate rummaging in my bag, then realising that there are no affectionate notes or postcards from my friends to be found.

i hate standing at the bus stop alone, waiting for the bus to arrive, cause everyone around me are in groups or pairs.

i hate sitting down at my table, penning a letter, then tearing it up cause i've no one to give it to.

i hate thinking of somewhere to go, getting all excited over it, then realising there's no one to accompany me there.

i hate listening to music, cause it only highlights how alone and pathetic i am.

how am i going to stop the voices in my head from telling me that i'm alone and i'm pathetic and i've no friends?

i don't know how.

i feel like crying and screaming and dying all at the same time.

cheated. conned.

2006-03-23T05:00:00.000-08:00

cheated. conned.

yes, i was cheated and conned and scammed and blindsided by the squash senior. he promised that joining squash is :

1) fun
2) NOT tiring
3) CASHLESS. meaning, no need to buy any stuffs including racket.
4) exciting

it's FAKE lahh. just got the shock of my life today cause i found out that :

1) we MUST get a squash racket, which costs about 60 bucks!?
2) we gotta get SHOES suitable for playing squash, which should cost about 100 plus bucks?!
3) WE MIGHT NEED TO PAY COACH FEES WHICH COSTS LIKE, 40 BUCKS PER MONTH?!

i'm super angry and irritated and worried and scared and desperate all at the same time.

I WANT TO JOIN BIZ CLUB!!!!!!!!!

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD.

BIZ CLUB!!!!!!!

Friday Outing

2006-03-18T05:07:00.000-08:00

went out with some IT peeps to watch YOURS, MINE AND OURS yesterday, at tampines golden village.

i have to say, the show didn't disappoint me! but it was too short lahh.. honest.

hmmm. i laughed like mad throughout the whole show, it was so damn funny! everyone should go watch it! :)

anyways, got the news about our classes liaos.

miraculously, me, pearly, xiaoxuan and kristin got into the same class! 06S212 is where we're gonna belong to for the next 2 years.

seriously, i hate the class number. 212 just sounds to sucky, ehhs? 205 sounds much much better... oh wells.

can't believe that holidays are ending so soon! soon i'll be MUGGING. x(

wishlist!

2006-03-16T04:29:00.000-08:00

MY WISHLIST !

1) Puma Navy Blue And Orange Sneakers [ 30 bucks including shipping ]

2) Puma Black Sneakers With Electric Blue Puma [ 79 bucks ]

3) Puma Black And White / Red And White Sneakers [ 99 bucks ]

4) Puma Red / Black Ferrari Shirt [ 59 bucks ]

5) Old Navy Green / Pink Tee [ 30 bucks ]

6) Bohemian Belts [ 30 bucks ]

clarifications.

2006-03-16T04:04:00.000-08:00

i'm an honest online seller, so i don't appreciate ppl slandering me and insinuating that i'm not doing decent business.

to clarify, the bag i'm carrying in the picture is the RED and WHITE puma mini grip bag, which costs about 60 bucks, bought for me by yensen as a x'mas present. i will NEVER sell it, as i love the bag loads, and also cause my best friend bought it for me.

ALSO, the bag i'm selling on Ebay is the BLACK puma spirit handbag. it is BRAND NEW and is safely kept in my cupboard.

NOW, how do you confuse the two?! they are so different, whether is it in size, colour or design.

seriously, whoever said that it's the one i'm selling online is COLOUR BLIND.

MIDG outing

2006-03-15T18:28:00.000-08:00

went out with xuejun, jesslyn and chuilaam yesterday.

i was late when meeting up with xuejun! luckily, she's a patient person. cause i made her wait for like, 40 mins. i'm usually the one who's EARLY though. HAHAHA!

anyways, we ate mac at bugis (too poor to eat sakae sushi) and waited for jess to arrive.

then, we took NEOPRINTS!

the neos are SUPER CUTE lahh. we'd a hard time choosing 4 out of the 8, cause ALL WERE SUPERB.

and so we finished taking neos, and rushed down to jess house to play mahjong, cause we found out that DORM shows at 6.15pm at princess, NOT 4.15pm.

we spent 10 thousand years teaching jesslyn how to play, cause she's a beginner at mahjong. still, it was fun! chuilaam won once, i won once, and xuejun won twice. needless to say, jesslyn was the BIGGEST LOSER. who said that beginners have luck?! it's all crap!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

we packed the mahjong up then left for bedok princess for DORM.

the movie was not as scary as i expected, cause i only screamed once. HAHAHA! still, it was quite meaningful, in my opinion. i like the way the 2 boys, one human and another ghost, built up their friendship. so much to the extent that, Chatree, the human boy, was willing to sacrifice his life just to save him friend Vichien from having to go through the same torturous suicide cycle everyday.

it was touching! and i almost cried. sniff sniff.

overall, i'd a great day with the girls! below are some pics we took!

gotta run now, cause i'm going out with siokling later. :) miss her loads sia.

Back From Integrity Chalet

2006-03-14T04:40:00.000-08:00

i'm back from the integrity chalet!

well, what else is there to say except that i'd loads and loads of fun? but the downside is that i didn't sleep for more than 24 hours.. we were busy playing Ten Ten and Blackjack.

many thanks to tubao and hanming! i lost more than 2 bucks playing blackjack, and the two of them, BIG WINNERS, very generously sponsored me! :D

anyways, ms teo yiying aka gongchang tubao, please don't think that you sponsor me 2 bucks, then no need give me b'day present liaos hors! i won't forget de.

HAHAHA.

anyways, we took loads of pics, even though it's significantly less than those we took during the last chalet.

still, i enjoyed myself during the chalet. these are the classmates that i've been in the same class as for 2 years, and known intimately for 4 years. love these guys man! only with them can my dramatic streak manifest itself, can i by MYSELF.

thanks for always being there, guys!

integrity rocks FOREVER.

my birthday!

2006-03-10T18:11:00.000-08:00

happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to SHEAUWEI....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

it's my birthday today, and so far only got about 9 ppl msg me to wish me. feel so unpopular. :(

ahhs, whateverrrrrrrrr. i'm gonna be going out with pearly and the IT peeps later, then with chuilaam, my best friend, to celebrate my coming of age!

blog more about orientation two at MJC tonight!

PS : the hols are next week! woohoo! everybody have fun, ehhs? :) this reminds me that the IT chalet is on Monday! woooooooohoooooooooo!

my b'day coming!

2006-03-03T07:29:00.000-08:00

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

MY BIRTHDAY'S COMING SOON.

7 MORE DAYS.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

friends, please hurry msg me and ask me what i want!

PS : NO SOFT TOYS PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE!

new specs!

2006-03-03T07:21:00.000-08:00

i've always wanted to get spectacles, more out of want than need. (i've got PERFECT EYESIGHT!)

well, i got a pair today! hahahaha. MICHELLE recommended me to this little store at Le Meridian, near dhoby ghaut, and i bought a pair for ONLY 10 BUCKS. super cheap lahh.

and i'm proud to say that, once again, i've done justice to the specs! i look SUPER CUTE. HAHAHA.

the specs are pink and black, for your info. it looks super cool lahh. i predict that my self-taking antics are gonna start AGAIN. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

posting results.

2006-03-02T17:18:00.000-08:00

i got into MJC science stream! phew. luckily things worked out well.

hmmm. everyone's in a titter due to the release of posting results, and quite a number of ppl are appealing.

good luck to those who are appealing!

xuejun, even if we don't get into the same JC, i will always love you. we will be friends forever. remember that you have a friend here, who's waiting to support you, lend you her shoulder to cry on, to catch you when you fall and clean your wounds when you scrape your knees. I LOVE YOU!

Handwriting analysis!

2006-03-02T17:15:00.000-08:00

omg. this is freaking ZHUN and i was so freaked out when reading it.. everything written pertains to me! so if you wanna get to know me better, READ THIS. hahaha.

Koh has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.

Koh is selective when picking friends. She does not trust everyone. She has a select group of people that are truly close to her, usually two or three. She is careful when choosing her inner circle of friends.

Koh is very self-sufficient. She is trying not to need anyone. She is capable of making it on her own. She probably wants and enjoys people, but she doesn't "need" them. She can be a loner.

Koh is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.

Koh's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Koh that she wasn't a great and beautiful person, and she believed them. Koh also has a fear that she might fail if she takes large risks. Therefore she resists setting her goals too high, risking failure. She doesn't have the internal confidence that frees her to take risks and chance failure. Koh is capable of accomplishing much more than she is presently achieving. All this relates to her self-esteem. Koh's self-concept is artificially low. Koh will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because she is afraid that if she makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Koh to plan too far into the future. She kind of takes things on a day to day basis. She may tell you her dreams but she is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud she speaks, look at her actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Koh is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.

In reference to Koh's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Koh slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project. She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Koh can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Koh will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want her opinion, don't ask for it!

Koh will demand respect and will expect others to treat her with honor and dignity. Koh believes in her ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. She has a lot of pride.

Koh is moderately outgoing. Her emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, she can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. She has the ability to put herself into the other person's shoes. Koh will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes she will be happy, the next day she might be sad. She has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because she is in between. Psychology calls Koh an ambivert. She understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, she will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." She doesn't sway too far one way or the other. When convincing her to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to her. She puts herself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet she will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Koh is an expressive person. She outwardly shows her emotions. She may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story. Koh is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. She weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when she finally has to. She basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Koh doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

diet profile!

2006-03-02T16:53:00.000-08:00

Depressing results. I feel so fat (that's a fact), and ugly. hurrrrrrrs.

Your BMI Analysis*

Current weight 63 kg
Current BMI 26.6
Preferred weight 55 kg
Preferred BMI 23.2
Healthy BMI range 18.5 - 25
Healthy weight range 43.9 - 59.3 kg

*Body Mass Index (BMI) is a mathematical formula used by most health experts to analyse health. Please note that the BMI does not take body fat percentages nor lean body mass into consideration.

Daily Calorie Requirements
Based on your current weight, height and activity level, your Daily Calorie requirement is 2170 calories.

This is what you need to maintain your current weight. However, food is not the only thing that affects weight management; exercise or lack of it will impact the amount of calories burned and thus your net caloric intake. To change your weight by 0.5 kg or 1 lb in one week, you must increase or reduce your net caloric intake by 500 calories per day or 3500 calories per week.

The Daily Calorie calculation is an estimation of your calorie needs. Individual differences will affect the actual amount of calories you need.

Comments
You are currently overweight and losing weight is a good idea. Aim to get your BMI between 18.5 and 25.

2006-03-01T05:04:00.000-08:00

took 2 pink pills for fever and pain, but i'm still having a splitting headache. so i'm gonna go offline liaos.

anyways, junkit got 3Bs and A2 for GP! OMEDETOU GOZAIMASU! :)

he's such a bright boy lahh.

johari window

2006-02-26T23:39:00.000-08:00

EVERYBODY GO DO THIS! it's a rare chance for you guys to expound on my numerous good points. i know everything there applies to me, but just choose 6 okays?

tsktsktsk. can't believe how CUTE i am. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

i'm KIREI! i'm KIREI KIREI KIREI!

http://kevan.org/johari?view=sheaux

back to school

2006-02-26T23:27:00.000-08:00

yeaps, i finally went school today, despite still not feeling up to it.

hmmm. i went for TAF in the morning, and it wasn't that grueling today, cause we just ran 2 rounds of the track, and played a little captain ball. after getting into MJ, running 2 rounds around the track is like....

CHICKEN FEET lahh.

cause we all kanna tortured during TAF, PE and CCA. life is so miserable. :(

anyways, lessons were boring, as usual.

gonna be having a chemistry retest this thursday, and i think i'm gonna fail. cause i don't intend to study for it. HAHAHAHAHA.

slackerism is in my blood!

looking forward to this FRIDAY! cause it's finally the weekends, and i heard that we might be having a break this friday, due to the release of posting results. like i even care, cause i'm like, confirm stuck in MJC already lahh.

:(

whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

gonna have fun in the march holidays!

cause there's INTEGRITY CHALET `06. woohoo!

btw, i miss SIOKLING. and i miss CHUILAAM. i miss XUEJUN too.

everybody's ignoring me though! i've NO LIFE whatsoever.. just keep reading books everyday and watching time pass me by.

sniff sniff

2006-02-21T00:05:00.000-08:00

i did this for my ebay webbie, i'm just SO PROUD of myself! :)

anyways, been slacking at home these 2 days cause i'm not feeling well and the doc gave me an MC. hmmm. making full use of that bloody MC to get a good rest!

ohh yahs. everyone's playing around with the Johari Window now. It's FUN! but too bad there are some descriptors not up. like.. LAME, CUTE, ADORABLE, DRAMATIC. all of which, describe ME.

HAHAHAHAHA.

gotta go make some new earrings!

visit www.integrity03.blogspot.com to support me and linlin! :D

random blabberings

2006-02-12T22:17:00.000-08:00

i just finished downloading and watching E Zuo Ju Zhi Wen episode 20! it was good, but not as phenomenal as i expected it to be.. oh wells. i guess i'm the sort of person who'll be sad at then end of a show or a book, but nonetheless, will at the same time be ecstatic to relive the moments or revelations the show or book provided while i was only one-quarter through, or halfway through..

simply enjoy reading AND re-reading books, but not so much watching and re-watching movies. HAHAHA.

i'm a weird homosapien, I KNOW.

stoning at home now before going out to meet the peeps i adore for KBox.

oh yeahs, i just registered online for JAE. put MJC as 1st and 2nd choice, and TPJC as 3rd and 4th choice. ended up putting 4 poly courses after that, and NYJC and SRJC just to fill up the space.

at least it's over and done with...

crossing my fingers and hoping to get into MJC SCIENCE STREAM! :)

anyways, many thanks to the peeps who consoled me for the results. life rocks with you guys around! :D

i'm feeling better now. i WILL pick myself up and carry on walking. life's still full of hope, as long as we don't die, and we don't give up.

2006-02-11T06:32:00.000-08:00

extracted from ernie chen the cutie's blog at www.irock.com.ru.

then i was sort of lyk reading the va***a day card sheau wei gimme.

and it was totally cool sia.

i mean, on my own part lar, the long john silver session was a very very super ultra mega big significant milestone/ event in my life, in my friendship history and etc. it was the first time ever i actually OPEN up to pple (can u believe it?); first time ever I confided a lil of my fears and worries and sorrows….. first time ever i toked wif pple until I somemore it was totally cool because the tok just flow smoothly, and comfortably. everything just came naturally.

i mean, there ARE times in my life when i feel so damn weak and hopeless i felt lyk bursting out all my… ER thingies. that was the first time ever i toked abt such stuffs and it felt great. TOTALLY great. (=

i mean, it’s really cool in da sense tt i wasnt even tt close to sheau wei during sec 1~2…

except tt we love hitting each others’ boobs+buttssssssss… then actually i always found her rather intimidating… cuz im scared of english-pros sia. then she’s this ger who’s not afraid to voice her opinions and displeasure and things lidattttt but it’s lyk tt day really totally stripped away all the layers of protection i sort of forge around myself towards pple lor.
it was totally great siaas. when u know there’s someone out there who feels de same way as u do, who’s doing their best, struggling and all lyk u too. u dun feel lyk u’re de only poor n miserable person on dis world, and it no longer feels lyk god has played some mean tricks on u animore.

den wad she wrote on de card was lyk exactly wad’s been on my mind, and i was lyk OMGOMGOMG how cool can tt be siasssssssssssss

anyways, i so totally gotta love her.

for her geunine warmth n concern and the way she cares n values friends so much OMGOMGOMG hahaha……….

i was so damn bloody touched! my mouth was so tired from grinning after i read all these in her blog. she's not a person to show affection very openly, and she's definitely showing it so so so clearly. i was so damned touched....

I LOVE YOU ERNIE!

just like you said, the greatest of distances separates us, but the ironic thing is.. our hearts are even closer than before. :)

FRIENDS FOR LIFE.

the failure.

2006-02-10T22:21:00.000-08:00

even when i got my results, and saw that it sucked like hell, i didn't cry. i suppressed my tears.

i felt so NUMB. i didn't know whether to cry out loud, all my anger, my frustuation, or just to act like i was satisfied with my results.

then i left with xuejun, chuilaam and jesslyn. we walked out, and my mum called. and i said that i scored very badly, and then the tears began to fall. i cried so hard, it was difficult to breathe.

there was a dull ache in my heart, a deep rending pain. it left me shocked and hurt. dazed and shattered.

i didn't know whether to act ALL RIGHT, or to just cry it all out.

until today, i still can't accept that i scored to badly for O's.

i repeatedly question myself whether this is all a dream, and i wish to quickly wake up from this terrible terrible nightmare...

but i know there is no respite.

i've no choice but to go to MJ.

not that MJ's bad or anything, but it's just not my dream JC. i never ever can get into the school of my choice.

ohwells. i can't change anything.

at least, i should be glad that..

i won't have to go through orientation as a freshie again.
i won't have to adapt to a new environment.
i won't have to get to know a class of new ppl.
i won't have to be called "freshie".
i'll be a reggie OGL, and regulus rocks. seriously.
i can sing the school song on thursdays and fridays, and the school song's especially nice.
i can see jieshi and danial and zul and linlin and kristin and kevin and hilda everyday.

I LOVE MJC!

phew.

2006-02-09T04:22:00.000-08:00

phew. luckily things are fine now. we're friends again!

thank god i didn't lose her. :)

anyways, i'm gonna be going back to school tmr to get the O level results. kinda know that i'm not gonna do well.. oh wells. too bad then.

i don't even dare to think about what JC i wanna go...

cause i know that the higher i aim, the harder i'll fall. just like what happened for PSLE.

anyways, i'm gonna be giving away valentine's gifts tmr to some special friends of mine!

hahahaha. do you think you're the special one??

hope that i get loads of valentine's day gifts this year..

PS : good luck to those getting results! let's all get brilliant L1R5s, and get into prestigious institutions! whoo! :D

so damn excited that i'm going back to cchms tmr. can't wait to see my friendssss!

2006-02-06T04:41:00.000-08:00

have you ever had a friend, that when you got closer to one another, and everything was so right and beautiful and so smooth, that you felt, SHE'S THE ONE.

i loved her.

i cherished her.

i wanted to give her the world.

everytime i saw something i saw, that she'd like, i felt an inexplicable urge to buy it for her.

everytime i hear her name being mentioned, i'd be on the quick to defend her. NO ONE MESSES AROUND WITH MY FRIENDS.

everytime i thought of all the we've gone through, i thank god for giving her to me as my friend.

everytime i see the things that she's given me, i feel a bubble of joy rise up in me, and i feel like calling her there and then to say : "thank you for being my friend."

maybe, after today, i won't ever have a chance to do all these things. we experienced a crisis in our relationship, but i didn't want to give up. i will hold on with all my might, even if it kills me. but she's afraid that the cracks in our friendship cannot be mended. she wants to give up..

my tears are falling for the loss of this friend.

2006-02-05T22:24:00.000-08:00

"Endless Summer"

[Bonus Track]

We laughed, we cried
And all the while we felt so alive
It was you and me
You grabbed my hand and you made me see
What it could feel like
And what it might be like
You wrote my name in the sand
In this endless summer
We will be together
And I dont want this feeling to ever end
Looking back in november
Feel the sun and remember
That when our time has finally come to pass
Some things last
Some things always last
Save goodbye
Keep it frozen in december
I need the high
To get me through the ever after
Cause now that it feels like
Its far from what it was like
When we wrote our names in the sand
In this endless summer
We will be together
And I dont want this feeling to ever end
Looking back in november
Feel the sun and remember
That when our time has finally come to pass
Some things last
Some things always last
It's not what it feels like
Its far from what it was like
When I wrote your name in the sand
In this endless summer
We will be together
And I dont want this feeling to ever end
Looking back in november
Feel the sun and remember
That when our time has finally come to pass
Some things last
Some things always last
Some things last
Some things always last
We laughed, we cried
And all the while we felt so alive
It was you and me

2006-02-05T22:19:00.000-08:00

"Catch Me When I Fall"

Is anybody out there
Does anybody see
That when the lights are off something's killing me

I know it seems like people care
Cause they're always around me
But when the day is done and everybody runs

Who will be the one to save me from myself
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Who's gonna catch me when I fall

When the show is over
And it's empty everywhere
It's hard to face going back alone
So I walk around the city
Anything, anything to clear my head
I've got nowhere to go nowhere but home

Who will be the one to save me from myself
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Who's gonna catch me when I fall

It may seem I have everything
But everything means nothing
When the ride that you've been on
That you're coming off
Leaves you feeling lost

Is anybody out there
Does anyobdy see
That sometimes loneliness is just a part of me

Who will be the one to save me from myself?
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall
And not ashamed to see me crawl?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?

2006-02-05T22:17:00.000-08:00

"Behind These Hazel Eyes"

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

oops.

2006-01-30T20:53:00.000-08:00

DURIAN ; happy new year to you too! anyways, reply you bout the lonely issue when i see you.. kinda difficult to express here. HAHAHA.

ANGEL ; happy new year! kinda surprised that you're actually visiting my blog. HAHAHAHAHA.

PEISHI ; i'm in 06S205! anyways, you know that jesslyn ahhs, DAMN BHB lahh. oops. HAHAHA.

SHEAU.W ; my chinese name's also pronounced as Xiao Wei ehhs. hmmm. still can't enter your blog!

JESSLYN ; WHEYS. don't so BHB lehh.. since when did i say that i miss you? if you miss me LOADS, then just say it! tsktsktsk. it's hard not to miss someone as cute and nice as ME. :)

Chinese New Year

2006-01-30T20:36:00.000-08:00

i'm damn lazy to blog about Chinese New Year... HAHAHA.

well, collected very little angbaos this year, but i'd fun playing blackjack lahh, though i didn't win very much. (How to win big when i'm playing like, 50cents each round?)

anyways, i saw my cousin's girlfriend yesterday, at my godfather's house.. omg! she's UNDERAGE lahh! he's TWENTY-FIVE, but she's only what, SIXTEEN?

TSKTSKTSKTSKTSKTSK.

can't imagine what the girl sees in my cousin...... * mumbles to self. *

ahhhhhs, anyways. i met up with XUEJUN yesterday! CCL was supposed to come along, but couldn't leave her house at the last min due to unforeseen circumstances.

WE MISSED YOU LOADS LAHH!

ANYWAYS, CCL's absence doesn't mean that we've to starve. wanted to eated the Ice Cream Buffet at Cineleisure, but it was CLOSED. crap.

so, we decided to eat at CAFE CARTEL.

WE COULDN'T FINISH OUR FOOD. we were like, frantically stuffing food down our gullet, but we still couldn't finish....

SO WASTED!

but it's okay lahh... at least we tried.

after eating, we took neoprints and then decided to go home, cause all the shops were closed and there's like, nothing to see.

in the end, we decided to go to my aunt's house, at hougang, to bai nian. we went over and played blackjack AGAIN!

that stupid xuejun kept getting good cards lahh. i was the SUAY one. bloody.

so... i lost FOUR BUCKS. hrrrmphh. MUST BE XUEJUN DAI SAI ME LAHH.

and so we played then left at around 11pm? HAHAHA.

how did YOU spend YOUR new year? hope you guys had fun! how i wish i'd spent my New Year with you guys... it's bound to be BUNDLES OF FUN! :)

TJC Carnival

2006-01-26T04:46:00.000-08:00

ernie and siok invited me to the TJC carnival, and so i went! hahaha.

it was fun, fun, FUN! but it's not the games that are fun, it's my FRIENDS.

pearly, me, lin, gordon, ernie, yiying and kelvin were there.

we took loads of pictures, and basically just talked, crapped, laughed and screamed alot. HAHAHA.

I LOVE THOSE PEOPLE!

they never fail to brighten my day up, and make me forget my fatigue, my unhappiness, my worries.

I LOVE YOU GUYS TRUCKLOADS! WOOHOO!

anyways, i saw my primary school friend, Chia Tsun and Lynn. Lynn's studying at TJC now. super clever sia?

anyways, Chia Tsun was like, SO SHOCKED to see me lahh. her eyes were like bulging out... then i was like : You never see me before ahhs? Why so shocked?!

then she said : YOU LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT!?

and mumbled something (she always was a quiet girl.).

i was like, HUH??

then i heard her saying : YOU LOOK SO CUTE.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.

ANOTHER PERSON WHO SAYS THAT I'M CUTE!!

i'm like, so damn ecstatic lahh!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

thanks, Chia Tsun!

anyways, i already know that i'm CUTE. but hearing it... it just makes it seem much more better!

that bloody idiot.

2006-01-26T04:16:00.000-08:00

there's a bloody git with mandarin orange skin, who DROPPED my phone and made the battery and cover fly out.

he wouldn't have admitted to dropping it had i not noticed it MYSELF. i always put my phone on silent mode, but, mysteriously, it was switched off when i took it out of the valuables bag.

i'm sure he'd act like nothing happened if he could, but too bad he can't cause my phone can't be switched on without entering PIN code.

I WAS BLOODY ANGRY LAHH. imagine if someone took your favourite poodle or terrier for a walk in the park, then ACCIDENTALLY slammed it into the lamppost. how would YOU feel??

he himself said : IF YOUR HP SPOIL, I PAY YOU LORHS!

(yes, his english is THAT BAD.)

well, according to his express wishes, my phone IS spoilt. thanks, ahhs.

and now, he DOESN'T want to pay for it. at first, he tried to worm his way out by saying that he's 100% SURE, CERTAIN, CONFIRM that it was someone else's phone whom he dropped.

he INSISTED VEHEMENTLY that the phone should be red? like, i know CNY is coming, but there's no point inventing a colour, cause my classmates witnessed him dropping my phone?

then, he started to exclaim that there's NO WAY he's gonna buy a new phone for me. he will buy a SECOND HAND HP for me.

AM I SUPPOSED TO CHEER AT THAT? TO KNEEL DOWN AND THANK HIM PROFUSELY!?

goodness. 9 out of 10 people know that secondhand handphones are mostly DEFECTIVE.

freak lahh.

i was like, trying AIMLESSLY to get my point across to him, that he should just pay me a nominal sum so i can get MY OWN NEW HANDPHONE.

since my phone is spoilt, it can't be traded in anymore. so he should at least pay for the trade-in price right? and it's like, that's definitely gonna be cheaper than buying a secondhand handphone, which will most probably cock up after a few weeks or months of use.

HE JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND MY POINT.

i've had enough, talking to a freaky idiot who doesn't understand what you are trying to get across.

UUUUURRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHSSSSSSS.

i get so pissed off whenever i see his bloody freaking face.

i hate ORANGES.

and i hate the way he SWAGGERS and SAUNTERS around. it's like, so damn ugly and un-stylo?!

guess we just can't have too many expectations of these kinda people.

LIFE IS SO MISERABLE. I WANT MY PHONE TO BE WELL AGAIN!!

she doesn't understand.

2006-01-23T23:34:00.000-08:00

i feel as if we're drifting further and further apart. she has them, while i don't.

i'm desperately trying to pull her back, to make our friendship return to what it was...

but it isn't working.

i hinted to her that we need to talk, we need to sort some things out, but she doesn't seem to care. or maybe she didn't feel there was anything wrong between the two of us.

didn't we promise each other, so very long ago, that if we'd any misunderstandings, we'll just say it out straight?

i guess she forgot.

i feel so alone, so lost, so left out, but no one knows.

who can i tell?

who will listen and not judge?

who will understand what i'm trying to say?

sigh.

i just wanna talk to someone.

anyway, her closeness with them.. i'm okay with it. but i can't help but feel like she prefers them much more to me.

maybe, this is true..

but i just can't bear the thought of it.

yppahnu

2006-01-22T04:40:00.000-08:00

I think my OG people don't like me.

I'm not sad.

I'm not sad.

I'm not sad.

I'm Sheauwei. And i can't pretend that it doesn't hurt that they don't like me, probably hate or despise me.

Why do i feel like i'm back in Secondary One?

I miss my friends.

I miss the feeling of being in a FAMILY.

Most of all, I miss talking to Chuilaam, Xuejun and Yensen, who will never ever judge me, or despise me just cause i'm F-A-T.

Why am i starting to feel like I have such an UGLY personality and it's only right that people HATE me?

Who's gonna catch me when I fall?

I feel so damn miserable at MJC.

Tutorials, Lectures And BORING teachers.

2006-01-19T02:38:00.000-08:00

I've started lessons for one week now, and what can i say except that it's super boring?!

goodness.

practically every day, we've an extra tutorial to complete and hand in, or an additional project to do..

JC life is even MORE stressful than secondary school life man.

when will we ever get to rest?

never, i guess. life is like a race, the fastest wins the race, and usually, it is those who lag behind that suffer the most. the world will not wait for you, you've gotta strive hard to dash to the front and REMAIN at the front.

anyways, i'm in the same class as linlin and kristin, 06S205, and most of my OG mates, except those who take CL, are in 06S205, which is good. kinda.

i'm running out of things to say..............

ohhyeahs! shafiq's a damn funny guy lahh. but he can be quite sucky at times too lahh........

erhems. but i really like his JOKES lahh, good delivery man! Frederick's jokes are the bone-chilling kind, unlike Shafiq's, which make you laugh until you feel like your lungs are bursting with laughter and you feel like VOMITING.

one very funny thing that he likes to do:

Shafiq - S
Fiona - F

S: ehh, ehh, ehh..
F turns around and looks at S.
S: what?
F: LOSER!

this process repeats itself for over like, 10 times. yes, Fiona STILL falls for the same dumb trick.

wahahaha! SUPER funny sia?

HAHAHA.

oh wells. i gotta go slack liaos. bye peeps!

New Year, New School, New Blog, New Entry.

2005-11-20T19:43:00.000-08:00

Yeaps, we're now living in 2006. I'm gonna be spending my first three months in Meridian Junior College, while waiting for the O level results to be released. Orientation for the J1 Freshmen took place on the 3rd to 6th of January, and there's no other word to describe it besides FUN. hahaha!

well, there were some moments when i actually hated, despised the orientation, but i can't deny that on the whole, i enjoyed myself. thumbs up to those who spent time planning the whole event! :)

there are a few guys that i really hate... suckers. let's just forget bout them. those who wanna know more, email or talk to me on msn.

anyways, euu know what? Regulus Four rocks! Me, linlin and kristin chose the same subject combination, S301 - H2 Physics, H2 Chem, H2 Maths and H1 Econs, that's why we got into the same OG.

and i have to say I LOVE MY OG! even though we didn't win, but we had lots and lots of fun, and we DID fight hard to win the champions, and that's what matters, and not whether we won.

anyways, i'm not exactly enjoying myself in MJC, nor do i actually detest the school or whatever. I just.. get the feeling that i'd be better off somewhere else.

does anyone get the same feeling?

sigh.

that's the whole reason why i'm so worried now, bout the O level results... i'm so so so afraid that i won't score well for O's, and as such, will be stuck at MJC alone.

I DON'T WANT TO BE STRANDED!!

I DON'T WANT TO BE MAROONED AT MJC!!

double sigh.

i hate this waiting, this guessing, this worrying.

all this worrying is dragging out endlessly, making my heart throb with fear and apprehension...

when will the O level results be released!?